Wednesday, September 20, 2006

New Conspiracy Theory: Cheaper Gas

So, let me get this straight.... it's Bush's fault when gas prices are high, and it's Bush AND the Republicans fault when the gas prices fall? Have I got that right?
If you think I'’m kidding, then you don'’t know Jack-—Jack Cafferty that is. Cafferty shoots from the lip often enough as a CNN host, but on the August 30 edition of that network'’s "“Situation Room,"” he outdid himself. After a story about how gas prices might get close to $2 by Thanksgiving, Cafferty grabbed his tinfoil hat and came up with his own conspiracy theory. "“You know, if you were a real cynic, you could also wonder if the oil companies might not be pulling the price of gas down to help the Republicans get re-elected in the midterm elections a couple of months away,"” he ranted.
That, right there, is a darn good reason why CNN is NOT the most "trusted name in news".
On the September 3 "“In The Money,"” he repeated his crazy charge when he should have sounded retreat. "“I mean the oil companies have a vested interest in seeing that the Republicans remain in control of the federal government,"” Cafferty again claimed. "“They wouldn'’t pull prices down before the midterms now. Would they?"”
I don't watch CNN, unless the motel when I might be staying hasn't moved into the 21st century. I had to look this guy up. He's actually a "news anchor"?? No, of course CNN isn't biased! (snicker)
Because in the real world, oil companies don'’t control gas prices. They'’re set on world markets. They'’ve dropped significantly from their recent high on August —declining 42 cents between August 12 and September 12. If you'’ll recall, gas prices soared from $2.26 a gallon in February as Iran increased tensions about its nuclear aims. Then, on April 11, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad declared, "“Iran has joined the nuclear countries of the world,"” according to the New York Times. Gas shot up about 25 cents in two weeks thanks to our nuclear reaction.
I'm as dumb as a box of rocks, and even I know that the price of a barrel of oil is set by speculators, and supply and demand. Unless, of course, you live in Wisconsin, and the price of a gallon of gas is set by the state, by way of the minimum mark up and excessive tax.
If you'’re Jack Cafferty, that was too much to bear. The huge oil discovery in the Gulf of Mexico made it worse. Cafferty likes high gas prices. "“I hope gas prices go as high as they have to go to get the rest of these morons off the road in these big Hummers,"” he wished on the March 25 "“In the Money."” So now he'’s angry because gas prices aren'’t high enough. In that case, he must love OPEC. According to the September 12 New York Times, OPEC said it "“would cut production if prices fell more."” That looks like they're keeping prices high by controlling supply. By Cafferty's logic, that would either make Ahmadinejad a big Democratic supporter or talk of such conspiracies downright silly. If you want crazy conspiracies from your news broadcast, then tune to CNN. If you want something better, send Jack Cafferty some aluminum foil so he knows how you feel about his cooking up a kooky theory for gas prices.
Thanks, but I prefer my news coming from the world of reality!