Stolen from....

Wigderson Library & Pub, who got it from Spring City Chronicle:

I dreamed I died and went to heaven. As I stood in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, I saw a huge wall of clocks. I asked, “What are all those clocks?” Saint Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth gets a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.” “I see,” I said, “whose clock is that?” “That’s George Washington’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that he never told a lie.” “Incredible,” I said, “and whose clock is that one?” St. Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.” “Where’s Governor Doyle’s clock?” I asked. Saint Peter replied, “That’s in my office. We’re using it as a fan.”